SLEEP DIVORCE
Don’t Let Your Sleep Arrangement Ruin the Romance in Your Relationship
By Dara Mormile
Getting a good night’s rest is the key to feeling refreshed and ready for the day ahead. However, if you’re tossing and turning… moving around all night…you might feel more exhausted. And if you have a partner who snores, wakes up at crazy hours and constantly rustles blankets and pillows, they’re going to make you exhausted too!
Recent studies have found that more couples are opting to stay in separate quarters overnight to improve their quality of sleep for a variety of reasons. Snoring, sleep talking – and even incompatible sleep schedules - can keep love birds from sharing the same nest.
In a 2023 survey conducted by the National Sleep Foundation, it was revealed that less than 2% of American adults opt for sleeping away from their partners consistently, a trend known as a "sleep divorce". Strikingly, 52.9% of adults who have chosen this route reported an improvement in their sleep quality, while 25.7% eventually returned to sharing a bed. These findings shed light on the potential benefits of individual sleep arrangements for overall well-being.
The statistics can be a real snooze - but the consequences of sleeping apart are a real eye-opener, says licensed relationship therapist and esteemed author Jaime Bronstein, LCSW.
“I don’t like the term ‘sleep divorce,’” she humorously said in a recent interview with Preferred Health Magazine.
“It’s too intense of a description for sleeping apart…Whatever works for the couple and their ability to get a good night’s sleep!
That’s up to them - no judgment!”
Sleeping in separate beds/rooms when a partner has a health condition is sometimes unavoidable and necessary.
“If your partner uses one of those loud C-PAP machines, for example, that could be an understandable reason to sleep apart,” she said. “But sleeping together is very intimate…it’s a source of subconscious bonding and a different type of connection. Of course, sleep is extremely critical for us to function and recharge - but if you have an open and honest conversation with intentionality, separating from your partner to get a good night’s sleep can work in the long run.”
The media guru, who’s been transforming relationships for 20 years, said keeping the fire alive is a must!
How can couples ignite each others’ passion when they’re not sharing the same bed every night?
“Cuddling is very important!” she said. “Before you both go to sleep in your respective places at home, spend time cuddling together and bonding - however that is. I found that a lot of couples plan their intimate nights anyway so make sure you connect, and maintain that passion, intimacy, and communication on a regular basis.”
Some may argue that sleeping separately is traditionally a sign that couples are heading towards a real divorce. Bronstein said for couples who sleep apart because, perhaps, they want to be alone, or there are underlying relationship issues - this could be a rude awakening!
So, what if you’re in love with your mate, content with your relationship – but shut-eye is impossible when their snoring is as loud as a rock concert?
“When you want to broach the topic of sleeping separately, present it as a positive thing - don’t make it dramatic and blame them for your restless nights,” Bronstein said in earnest. “You can be kind of cute and sweet about it, tell them how much you love them, of course, and how you think it would help your quality of sleep - that it would also improve your relationship because you’d truly feel refreshed. I also think if you’re the one who’s bringing it up, you should be the one to offer to go to another room to sleep to show your partner that you’re also willing to be empathetic.”
If you’re not having sweet dreams - and filing for sleep divorce is unavoidable in the near future - there are plenty of sizzling ways to cozy up and have healthy quality time under the sheets before you count those sheep!
Jaime Bronstein, LCSW :"The #1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives," - Yahoo Finance
"MAN*ifesting"Book Sizzle Reel Instagram Website Media Kit "Love Talk Live" Podcast
Jaime Bronstein, LCSW is a licensed relationship therapist for 20 years, author, podcast host, speaker, and was named the “#1 Relationship Coach Transforming Lives” by Yahoo. Jaime hosts “Love Talk Live,” and her book is “MAN*infesting: A Step-By-Step Guide to Attracting the Love That’s Meant for You.” Jaime shares her relationship advice on various media outlets such as, NBC News Daily, On Air With Ryan Seacrest, ABC, CBS, Forbes, The TODAY Show magazine, The New York Times, USA Today, People Magazine, Newsweek, and Thrive Global. Jaime has a BA in psychology from Boston University, a master’s degree from New York University and certificates in Spiritual Psychology from the University of Santa Monica; enabling her to help her clients heal; seeing each challenge in life as an opportunity to evolve and live life to its fullest extent. Jaime continues to fulfill her mission of creating a positive impact while changing lives throughout the world.