The Power of our Legacy, Living Authentically
As I reflect on the lives of those I’ve loved and lost, I am struck by the profound impact they had on the world around them and the truth of the phrase, “Some of the best are taken too soon.” This thought prompts me to consider the lives we lead while we are here and how we can “make sense” of leaving a meaningful legacy behind.
The names and stories of these individuals resonate in the hearts of those they touched, serving as a testament to the power of presence. They didn’t just exist; they lived fully, ensuring that those around them knew they did. They left behind an imprint of love, kindness, and, most importantly, authenticity. It’s a beautiful reminder that our legacies are not just measured by grand achievements but by the everyday moments we share with others - the laughter, the tears, and the simple acts of kindness that ripple through the lives of those we care about.
Yet, as I contemplate the beauty of legacy, I cannot help but notice the contrast in our society. Many seem to drift through life, disconnected from their experiences and those around them. They are physically present but emotionally absent, going through the motions without truly engaging with the world or those who matter most to them. It’s a reminder that living is not merely about existing; it’s about being present, aware, and connected to those who matter.
As we navigate our paths while on this earth, let us strive to cultivate a deeper sense of presence in our lives. Let’s reach out to those we love, share our thoughts and feelings, and show up for each other in meaningful ways that go beyond self-fulfillment. It’s in these connections that we find purpose, and it’s through our interactions that we leave our mark on the world.
Being present means embracing the here and now, cherishing the moments that matter, and recognizing the beauty in the mundane. It’s about listening intently when a friend shares their struggles, offering a smile to a stranger or my favorite; each morning I wake up, I pause and say, “Thank you for another day.” These are moments often taken for granted.
As I reflect on my own journey and the legacy I wish to create, I invite you to join me in this quest for presence. When I choose to compliment someone or be there for them, I do it because it is my authentic self. I understand that not everyone is capable of reciprocating, and we need to remember that life is not a tit-for-tat exchange. Holding on to our expectations of others will only lead to disappointment, preventing you from truly living. Let us live intentionally, embracing each moment with gratitude and love. Let us be the kind of people who, when we are gone, will be remembered not just for what we did but for how we made others feel.
In the end, our relationships, our kindness, and our presence will echo through time long after we leave this earth. Only in this context do I encourage us to consider how others view us, as it should reflect our authentic selves.
In a world that often feels chaotic and overwhelming, let us be the calm, light, and love others need. Let those who have left us and who never escape our thoughts remind us not to take living for granted. Let us live by their examples and embrace our presence.
Ask yourself: What will my legacy be?
Past Column Topics:
TO GPL-1 OR NOT Do you ever stand on the scale and feel not just the extra weight you’ve put on your body, but the burden of countless failed attempts to shed the pounds that seem to cling to you like a stubborn reminder of every diet abandoned, every workout skipped, and every moment of self-doubt that whispers to you to go for the easy fix? Over the past year, many people I know have embraced GLP-1 weight loss shots, achieving remarkable results that seemed unattainable without medical intervention. Meanwhile, I’ve found myself on a frustrating path of regaining over 30 pounds despite my best efforts. As I approach this mid-life crossroad, I’m trying to “make sense” of the long-term effects of these treatments and my responsibilities as a mother, particularly to my daughter, who requires additional support and will need me for a long time. The allure of these weight loss shots is undeniable. They promise quick results and have worked wonders for many. However, my hesitations are deeply rooted in my past experiences with diet pills like Xanadrine (my 90’s folk) and phentermine (early 2000’s), which offered temporary solutions but ultimately led to weight gain once I stopped using them. This cycle of losing and regaining weight is not only physically taxing but emotionally draining. Sure, I see success when cutting carbs, eating plain, and exercising daily, but I need more of a balance that fits my life: a lunch or dinner out, a traditional Italian Sunday dinner, and, of course, a glass or two of wine on the weekend! Not to mention that I have been at this since I was fourteen years old, and yes, my closet holds just about every size of clothing! I see that these weight loss shots can provide rapid results, with many individuals experiencing significant weight loss in a relatively short period. This can offer immediate motivation and a sense of accomplishment, which is enticing. Additionally, I know that being under the care of a healthcare professional can provide reassurance and guidance, ensuring that any associated health risks are properly monitored. Some people also find that these treatments help regulate their appetite and metabolism, making it easier to make healthier choices. However, the long-term impact of these weight loss shots is still not fully understood, raising concerns about potential dependency and the risk of weight regain once the treatment stops, which will only lead me back to where I am now. Furthermore, the quick weight loss associated with these shots could lead to muscle loss, which would be counterproductive to the goal of staying strong as I continue to age. Lastly, over-reliance on weight loss shots may detract from the necessary lifestyle changes, such as healthy eating and regular exercise, that are essential for sustainable weight management, which I know and have learned in recent years, but still, here I am. As I weigh these pros and cons, the realization dawns on me that sustainable weight management is not solely about the numbers on a scale. It’s about making lifestyle changes that I can commit to long-term. The hype surrounding these shots often overshadows the reality that true transformation requires dedication and a readiness to embrace change. While I’m tempted to join the ranks of those who have found success with GLP-1 shots, I must consider my motivations and the potential consequences. The fear of not knowing the long-term internal effects, coupled with the desire to remain strong and healthy, drives my decision-making process. In conclusion, my journey is not just about losing weight; it’s about finding a balance that allows me to be there for my children long-term while prioritizing my health. Whether I ultimately decide to start the shots or not, I recognize that the path to wellness is multifaceted, requiring both physical and emotional commitment. As I navigate this terrain once again, I hope to emerge not just lighter in weight, but stronger in spirit and health. Stay tuned! https://www.preferredhealthmagazine.com/makingsensewithmelissa
Understanding the Journey, Friendships with a Purpose Friendship is a beautiful bond that thrives on mutual understanding, empathy, and support. However, for parents of children with unique abilities, this bond can sometimes feel strained. As someone who has experienced the ups and downs of this journey and witnessed many friendships and relationships diminish, I think it’s essential to “make sense” of how to create friendships with a purpose. Understanding the challenges faced by friends navigating the complexities of raising children with special needs is crucial, as is learning not to take their lack of interaction personally. First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that these parents are not seeking sympathy; rather, they crave understanding and connection. Life can often be overwhelming for them, filled with health concerns, educational challenges, constant worry about their child’s future, and many of life's uncertainties. This reality can lead to fluctuations in communication. If a friend doesn’t reach out as often, it’s not a reflection of their feelings toward you; it’s a manifestation of their daily struggles and exhaustion. Empathy is crucial. Rather than focusing on what you may perceive as a lack of communication, try to understand the whirlwind of emotions they face. There are days, weeks, or even months when they might need to retreat into their own world, seeking solace in the familiarity of their routine. Recognizing that their silence isn’t personal can be liberating for both parties. Offer a listening ear when they’re ready to talk, and let them know you’re there for them, regardless of the frequency of your interactions. I like to refer to this time as a "system reboot." These periods often occur for me after a health episode or an IEP meeting, when I am overwhelmed with information. Another important aspect is to provide support without overwhelming them. Offer specific help rather than a general “Let me know if you need anything.” Instead, you could say, “I’d love to bring over dinner this week” or “Can I come over and give you a break?” These specific offers can feel more manageable than an open-ended invitation, which might inadvertently add to their anxiety. Even a simple “I’m here for you” can go a long way in reinforcing that they are not alone on their journey. Additionally, educate yourself about their child’s unique abilities. Understanding their challenges can help you empathize more deeply, engage in meaningful conversations, and find more ways to offer practical support. Having this knowledge allows you to ask thoughtful questions and offer genuine support, demonstrating that you care about their child’s experiences as much as you care about your friend’s. There is nothing worse than someone engaging in conversation about your child and assuming they know their diagnosis or offering unsolicited solutions. Such ignorance can be offensive and insensitive. In conclusion, being a friend to a parent of a child with unique abilities requires patience, understanding, and flexibility. It's also important to recognize that everyone deals with their own stresses, and we never seek to minimize what you may be experiencing. After all, life is relative to our own experiences. As a parent dealing with daily stressors, I often tell my close family and friends that sometimes, “my sympathy tank is just full,” and I cannot physically or mentally take on more than what’s in my four walls. It’s about creating a safe space where they can share their joys and struggles without fear of judgment. By offering unwavering support and empathy, you can help them feel valued and understood—making a world of difference in their lives. Remember, friendship is not about quantity but about the quality of connection, especially during challenging times. There are many joys to be had, and without these experiences, I would not have been inspired to write a children’s book touching on this very topic of empathy. Stay tuned for the release of I’m Not Invisible coming late fall.